Day 1: Starting Fresh

Although I have attempted blogs in the past, I consider this blog and this post to be my real first attempt at entering the world of blogging. So I commence this entry–my first day of my year-long challenge–with a new day, a new week, a new season. This is my attempt to start fresh with my life and document it through my clothing each day. However, in spite of my wanting to start a new chapter in my life, a part of me cannot and will not let go of what "starting new" means I leave behind. With the coming spring brings forth many moments that I am afraid to leave behind so soon. Though it has been a year–and in some instances more–my heart still feels and believes in a past that was once only yesterday to me. Close enough that I could still see it from the rearview mirror of my dying Jeep. Time is a fickle thing, it really is. We know time; we know that in time there are seconds that pass by as quickly as a breathe and those seconds turn into hours and hours into days and days into weeks and weeks into months and soon enough, a year has gone by. How do you measure a moment though? How much time passes before a moment–that last as long as you can still feel it–becomes a memory? Just a glimmer from the past. And how long before we forget? Time keeps going but we can be stuck in moments for a lifetime. Do we know when a moment finally passes? Or does it just go without any conscious thought or feeling towards its passing...

Today I wore an old Mötley Crüe T-shirt that I cut to look like a loose-fitting tank top. I got this shirt earlier this year for my homecoming dance which was themed, "Rock of Ages" and although I have an appreciation and general liking of almost all types and eras of music, 80s rock is not my particular forte. Though I have worn this shirt many times in the past, I never really took the time to ever research–let alone listen to–the band that I endorsed on my chest. Today at Von's, the cashier asked me what my favorite song was. He proceeded to look at me like I was an idiot when I was unable to name even a single song. Thus, I began my research and though research, I stumbled upon a song that resonated with me: "Home Sweet Home". Of course I have heard this song before, but today I listened to it again in attempt to familiarize myself with just a little piece of this iconic band. A particular lyric really caught my attention, it was: "my heart's like an open book for the whole world to read". What intrigued me about this line was that it is the exact opposite of me. My heart is something I have always guarded with the most security I can conjure. But this line means a lot to me because it is something I have always wanted to be–honest. Anyway, the moral of my story is: if you are going to wear a shirt that displays something you know absolutely nothing about, be prepared for the guy selling you spaghetti and pasta sauce to think you are an idiot. To complete my outfit, I wore an old pair of corduroy mid-waisted shorts (burgundy) with a pair of black sheer tights that I got from Rite-Aid and my black-knock-off-studded-litas-that-I-soon-hope-to-replace-with-the-real-ones shoes. The general color of my outfit ended up being a good representative of my mood today. Darker colors tend to match dimmer spirits...

"When Did Mötley Crüe Become Classic Rock?"

Vintage Top, Shorts: Forever 21, Tights: Rite-Aid, Shoes: Aldo, DIY Bow

Today marks Day 1. I am 1/365th of the way through my challenge–less than half of a percentage. And although my heart is still learning to let go of what was, my mind, body, and determination is pushing me forward and soon, I shall be not ahead of time nor behind it. I'll be with it–for once in my life.