But many times you don't. You fall.
This is reality. And reality is filled with people who try and try again, endlessly. People who fall down bottomless holes, with walls to slick to find holding to climb back out and yet never truly hitting the bottom. Just falling. Falling endlessly.
But life, as I have learned is all about falling. As I have said in previous posts, we are always falling. Before we walk, we fall. Before we grow a thick skin, we fall to pieces on the floor. Before the pain comes, we fall in love. And before success, we fall. And we fall, we fall and fall. We fall because there is no other option. When you have a dream that you believe in, there is no other option but to fall. You will never hit the ground–settle for the end–because the fall is better than giving up. When you fall, you have faith. Before we fell, we believed we could walk. Before the tears fell from our faces, we had confidence. Before we fell out of love, we believed that love lasted forever. And before we fell, we believed we could succeed. If we didn't believe, there would be no reason to fall. But falling, I think, is not the reason to give up. I'd rather be "falling in style" than on the ground wondering what it would feel like to be up there again. Yes, I'd rather fall forever than live life tied to the ground by chains of fear, pride, doubt, and jealousy. Because I know; I used to be afraid of falling. I have lived that. But now, today, I am new. I will fall because there is no other way to live than to fall. I will fall because I want to be free from my mind–from me. I will fall because I know, it's what I was always meant to do.
This post is really dedicated to my–and anyone else who is in a similar situation as I am–whole college/future post-high school process. It is probably one of the top stressful times we face as young people. It's like standing on the tip of a thin needle. Regardless of which way you fall, things will inevitably change in comparison to that tiny space you once occupied. You are now in endless nothing–endlessly everything. No longer confided to the tiny pinpoint of a needle (by either school, or the law, or your parents). This has been a hard process for me, and it is still no where near over. I have no idea what I am going to do once I graduate. Primarily, because I never thought I would be in the position that I find myself now. Whether good or bad–it wasn't in the script. And now I'm learning to improvise, because what else can I do? Regardless of what happens, however, I will do what is right for me, now. In the words of a note I once wrote to myself a little over a year ago,
"Don't waste your time comparing yourself to other people. You're gonna get where you need to go. In all due time. You're okay."
I dont' remember what provoked me to write this. But I can't help but believe some part of me knew it would be of significance later on.. on a day like today.
Teeny genie, Queeny weeny
Mom's pants, Bando: Studio 1220, Shoes: Aldo
Last night my mom and I did a little spring cleaning and we found a box full of old Halloween costumes and clothes my mom kept from the 80s. Things in the box included old sunglasses, boots, cheer outfits, and the pants that I wore for today's outfit. They are similar to other parachute-like pants that I own, but different in that they have little "wing-like" flaps that cover the upper part of the pant legs (it's kind of hard to explain, the picture is a better reference than my description). I liked these pants because they were very bold but the gold color gave them a sort of elegance that differs from my other parachute pants. I chose to just wear a bando on top to keep the rest of the outfit simple. I chose black shoes to match the black undertones in the gold pants. Going through your mom's or your grandma's old clothes is one of the best ways to find original pieces. It's like thrifting but its free and you are guaranteed to wear something none of your friends (or enemies) have ever seen before. Originality is something I am impressed by most in an outfit. Needless to say, I am very happy with today's outfit. Nothing brightens your day more than finding something new to wear that is entirely free and 100%
original.
Thanks for reading! See you tomorrow!
No comments:
Post a Comment